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Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Middle

OK, so I was reading a post on a blog I am following. Apparently this guy read another person's blog that had a list of why women are far superior to men. Now I like to say that as a joke, but to truly believe it is screwed up and petty. One of the bullets said that "women can leave past experiences in the past and let them go and control their emotions, while men can't. I guess the woman who wrote that never got her period, dated a guy, had a trauma, or really existed as a woman. I'm not saying it's a faulty weakness that we can't control our emotions as well - it's just girly nature. Just like guys are very physical and girls are very verbal. It's not going to change. And the weirdest thing is I'm still not even sure if I agree with it or not! my parents recently had a huge fight about so many things of the worst period of our lives, in the past. there was a lot of talk about "getting the truth on the table" and what exactly that truth really was. both were accusing each other of not being able to leave the past in the past. Well, I guess they were both right, because none of them could stay out of the past now that my fathers controversial opinion had been spilled. I don't blame my mom for not letting it go - it was a complete overstatement what my dad said. I wouldn't have been able to keep it at that either. To hell with gender, sometimes if you believe with a passion what is right and what is wrong from a certain situation, you have to express it loud and clear. and, well, when you have parents who want to do exactly that,.... you're screwed for a while. And it kills me inside to take sides with my parents, and the guilt i feel for kind of trashing my dad on the web weighs me down like a ton of bricks. I agree with my mom strongly, but my dad really does have good intentions - he just sees things from a completely different perspective. He was raised in a quiet, proper, slightly bigots, conservative, republican, fairly uptight family. Mom? polar opposite. loud family, laid back, 2 crazy crude humored uncles, independent political party, and dogs. oh, and little obnoxious cousins. Yet they are still, for the majority of the time, content with each other. Oh so there's some deets above that I forgot to mention (once again feeling like a disrespectful brat for trashing my dad, who is a really good guy, and he is actually sitting behind me right now 8/): he just can't get it through his head - the mother daughter relationship is one of the most complicated and conflicting of all parent-kid relationships. We can be screaming at each other real loud, really just fro the purpose of trying to get one another to shut up and "listen to what I have to say". Then 10 minutes later we are relatively fine again. He describes it as "bull shit, spewing verbal abuse and 'venom' (that was his analogy) at each other". He really does care about me, and I think that's why he feels so strongly about it. Except I have told him, God honest, that this is NOT something that is scarring either of us, or the rest of the family, for any period of time over 20 minutes. I am totally fine (well as fine as I can be with my now year and a half long eating disorder sitch). I told him "whether it is right or wrong, fights between adolescent girls and their mom just happen, A LOT". Lord. I sounded like someone from a "Bonding with your child" self-help book. Even so, it didn't seem to have much effect. Well... My bitching energy for the day has officially run out lol:). be back soon;)


  1. You're probably right about the mother/daughter thing. I have sons but of course, I am a daughter. You might want to consider trying to tone it down for your Dad's sake, since it really bothers him. Take it to another room or wait until he's not home to cover the nitty gritty. No doubt he's worried about you and especially so if you have an eating disorder. He wants to bring peace to your life.

  2. I know. Thnx for reading. I try to calm my mom down but she is VERY stressed right now, and with good reason. She is dealing with me and my issues, mistake after mistake in calculating the balance of the budget, my dad gone 3/4 of the time while traveling for work, and she's trying to get a teaching job.. plus she has the flu. I didn't mean that in a whole "oh woe is me" because I really consider myself lucky. But thnx fro the advice ;)

  3. Hi, I am the (un)fortunate guy whose blog you are (un)fortunately following. Thank you for your comments on my blog. I wouldn't have written that post had the original author wrote her post with good humor. But she was pretty serious about what she wrote, so I thought I would just clear up some confusions because many woman (and men too) tend to confuse feminism with male bashing. To all those women, believe me, men have a heart too. You write well, just a suggestion, whenever you are writing something remember that you are writing for an audience, so be measuring about your words.

  4. true. I know I regretted the comment sort of after I posted it. I just figured it might have been pretty well hidden down there after so many other comments lol.


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