Wasting My Time

I'm frustrated at myself
For not marching to my own tune.
I should have listened to my conscience.
I should have known I'd get there soon.

Who did I think I was kidding?
When I said I'd make it to the top.
I should've known the ladder was upside-down
'Cause my climbing came to a stop.

What exactly did I want to get out of this
After all was said and done?
Would this help me now or later
Today or in the long run?

Deep down I had all I needed.
What I wanted was so much more.
Now I know I'll look back and say
"What the hell did I do that for?'

A common saying: "I feel young again!"
Always used in a chipper tone.
I think that's misuse of the term.
Because "young" can feel so alone.

I really shouldn't be so dramatic.
I have friends, family, and a home.
Good money, food, and water,
And plenty of space to roam.

Now I know it's so much easier
In my situation, you see,
To just stop trying not to try
And to let it go completely.

I remember several months ago,
When I thought he had caught the bait,
Winter break came and went -
Forget it. I had to wait.

Well, I guess I've learned my lesson
about giving myself advice.
Next time I'll take it from others
And even still, I'll think twice.

~sleepinl8